Category Archives: Life

In this section I will share new and exciting submissive experiences.

Inspiration

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So my work took me off the grid for the last two weeks with as very small window in my office last weekend.  For this reason my post is coming much later in the day than it has been.  Next week we should be back on schedule.  This week I am posting another chapter of Shame’s Desire! I hope everyone enjoys!

So inspiration is very important to any writer or artist of any kind I guess.  Inspiration can mean a drive to actually work on something, a new idea for a story, or even an idea to continue a story one is already working on.  Whatever form it takes being inspired is usually a good thing for any creative type.  For me, being inspired brightens my whole day.

I don’t think I have a single source of inspiration for the things that I write.  the simple drive to write is based on many things.  I always feel better when I’ve spent a day writing, or even an hour.  But when I’ve feeling depressed or sick, I don’t feel inspired to write, even though I know it would probably make me feel better.  I’m a morning writer myself.  I am always most inspired to work on my writing when I first get up.

I know new story ideas are the bane of many readers existence.  I’ve been right there with you when I just want a writer to finish a story, and here they are starting a new one.  As I’ve said before I get a lot of new ideas all the time, but I try to pare them down and finish old things before I start new.  But when I get what I think is a great idea, I am thankful for it.  Besides for those ideas already working around my head, I actually really enjoy getting promps from a challenge, or my readers, and turning it into a full story.  Late this year, or early next year, I may start accepting such promps from you guys if you are interested.  But before I do that I want to have Shame’s Desire complete and Sound of Submission well on it’s way.

Now I have to day I love when I idea inspired to continue an open story.  Sometimes I’ll start a story thinking it is going in one direction, and I hit a chapter or two where I start to struggle, then inspiration hit, and I know exactly what the characters should be doing which ends up taking them in a completely knew direction than I thought.

For me there is no idea physical thing that inspires any of this.  It mainly comes from inside, and the shifting desires of my brain.  It is why I usually call this inspirational force within me my muse.  It is from inside my own head, but at the same time it can feel very separate from me.  It’s spastic and unpredictable, and I sometimes I have to worship at it’s alter in order to get it moving.  Though I will say, comments and reviews always seem to help. 😉

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Writer’s Rant

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Writing is hard.  Writing for me is taking out a little bit of who I am and showing it to anyone who wants to see.  Well at least when I post what I write on the web it is.  Which is just about everything I write.  I don’t keep a journal, well I do… but you are reading right now… so does that count?  Every time I post a new chapter, or even blog post I get this little nervous feeling about how people are going to see me because of what I have said.  I hide behind my pen name so that if you have a problem with what I have said, the worst you can do is send me a nasty comment or review.  But honestly… that is the worst thing I can imagine happening.  I’ve talked about in a pervious post what I do with reviews and how I deal with negative ones so I won’t go into that again.  But it is something that is always on my mind.

Writing is easy.  As many of my readers know (Not that I really think I have many readers) I have a lot of ideas about things I want to write.  I and others call these ideas plot bunnies.  I have a word doc named Story Ideas in it I put a quick summary tittle and any other info I think I will need in outline form.  In this outline I have 22 different tittles.  Some of these tittles are finished and are crossed out, others are currently being written and posted, some have not been touched while others have separate docs full of notes.  So really I am never really have a lack of ideas.

Dreams are painful. Katharine Whitehorn said “Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.”  When what you like doing best is writing that is a very hard thing to do.  Honestly I would love to make writing my work and my life.  I would love to write more original fiction and making a living at it. I’m not even talking about becoming rich and famous.  I would love to make ends meet with my writing.  That is my secret dark dream that I don’t really say too loudly because it hurts to much.  I’ve had this dream for as long as I can remember.  There are family stories about how I used to tell stories that never ended.  I never writing little things on our first family computer back when I was 8 or 9.  If you have gotten this far in my post you may be asking why the dream hurts so much?  The simple answer is, I know I am not good enough.

Why I post.  I post my work to share it and get feedback.  There is nothing that makes me feel more pleased than knowing someone is reading what I have written.  When I post on this website, I can’t help but look at the numbers on hits and views and I find myself checking out the websites stats.  When I post two FF.net I smile at every follow or favorite as well as every review. (Not including negative reviews)  When I post to AFF.org I find myself glancing to how the “views” count has gone up since I posted my last chapter.

What I write.  I write the stories I want to read.  Though I find it odd I do this, because I don’t get the same pleasure out of reading my own work that I get out of reading others.  This is for a couple reasons I think.  First, nothing surprises you when you know how it ends and sometimes that is half the fun.  Second, I’m not as good as the writers I enjoy.  Back to what I write.  Much if my all of my fiction as a bit of Dom/sub context to it.  The only exception I can think to this fact is Blind Nymph, it is oddly lacking in the BDSM department.  Even other stories that I write which I consider non erotic have Dom/sub elements such as my Face series.  I enjoy reading about strong subs so I write about them.  I enjoy reading about Evil or Dark Doms so I write about them.  But a lot of times I feel in the minority.

I think my rant is done now… Hope it wasn’t too confusing.

Fantasy vs Reality

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What is Fantasy?  According to Google it is “the faculty or activity of imagining things esp. things that are impossible or improbable.”  So when people have fantasies they don’t necessarily think they are going to come true.  When people have sexual fantasies they are usually nice things to think about while you search for some kind of private release.

What is Reality?  For me, reality is the things that are actually going on around us.

So lets apply these ideas to a BDSM relationship.  The reality of a healthy relationship is based on trust and openness.  There is a lot of talking about what the sub wants and needs, and what the Dom wants and needs.  What the sub and Dom are willing to do and what they would not be willing to do.  What one’s hard lines are and what their soft lines are.  They are a beautiful partnership about fulfilling the needs of the other.  This type of relationship comes in many forms and will look different for each couple as they find what is best for them.

Fantasies in these relationships will usually look different than the reality.  While playing out a fantasy it will usually seem as if the Dom is only serving their own needs.  To an outsider it may even seem as if the Dom is abusing or hurting the sub, when in fact they are giving the sub everything he or she really desires.

The use of safe words help keep the fantasy alive.  The sub can be screaming “no please stop” and really be meaning “Harder Master, you missed a spot!”

Now you may be wondering why I am ranting or rather rambling about BDSM fantasy.  The simple answer is that my fiction, and other fiction like it, is another way for Doms and subs to explore our darker fantasies. For some it is a way of exploring fantasies are so dark that they are hard to bring to play time for safety reasons.  Others, like myself, don’t yet have a partner to explore their fantasies with, so writing or reading fiction like mine helps to give us some outlet for these desires.

I’ve been told a few times that my stories do not describe a healthy BDSM relationship.  That some or more of the characters are abusive, and even rapists, they are manipulative and cruel.  To those of you who think this, I 100% agree.  But my stories are not supposed to be the reflections of the reality, they are meant to reflect the fantasy, the play time.

I know this has been a ramble, and I am going to warn you guys, I think most of my non story posts will be.  But I hope this helps with some of the confusion and gives everyone an insight on where my stories come from and why they are the way they are.

Comments and Discussions are always welcome!