Today we are getting chapter 9 of His Blood, which means we have only two more chapters till the end of the story.  I finally have another chapter of Shame’s Desire in progress and it just needs editing, which means you will get it after His Blood is finished hopefully.

I’m having a hard time writing my blog post this week.  Normal life as always is getting in the way, though this time I think it is myself getting in my own way.  Like many creative types I struggle with issues that seem to have no cause.  My anxiety is my hurtle of the day.

Anxiety for me in a weird topic.  It tends to have little or no cause, and I’m not sure which is worse.  When it has no cause, who I just have this overwhelming since of worry than I can sometimes tell myself there is nothing to worry about, I can talk myself into calming down and just dive into something to distract me.  Other times though it lasts for days like this since of doom hanging over me, waiting for something to go wrong so my brain can say, see I told you it was bad.

When the cause of the anxiety is something silly or small it isn’t much better.  Sometimes I can solve the problem, which makes the worry go away.  But much of the time it is drawn from something I have no control over.  In those times it connects to a since of helplessness that makes me want to just hide and never come out.

Today’s anxiety is both with and without cause.  It is mainly due to a party I am helping my sister with next week.  It seems the more I learn about this party the more I get drown in this overwhelming since of dread.  Instead of looking forward to spending time with friends and family, I am slowly panicking about the huge amount of people who will be there and not being able to retreat for hours and hours and hours.

So this has taken up my whole brain making it hard to think about telling good stories or talking about fun things.  My hope is it will go away soon…